I love Minnesota. I really do. But it’s a strange place. And frankly, I think it has it out for me. Minnesota has produced more of my ex-girlfriends than any other state, which doesn’t make a lot of sense, because I never really spent much time there. And the three months I actually did live in Minnesota – a lovely little town called La Crescent, in an apartment complex I almost burned down in a chicken/stove-related incident – I couldn’t get a single date. The Gopher State is cruel, and I’m not just talking about the winters or the fish recipes*. Oh, but Minnesotans, the people, are absolutely great. They will definitely dump you treat you to some good ol’ fashioned hospitality. I should know promise.

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This is a sad day. We have arrived at our final Hawaiian WAC Tennis Tournament update from Brett Frank, full-time basketball coach, but more importantly, part-time entertaining blog correspondent. You may or may not have heard the Fresno State women’s team won the title this weekend in a wild, thrilling final. Brett’s back from Hawaii and I can’t wait to hear the full report.

I must admit I am slightly relieved there will be no more updates simply because my Roman numeral counting is somewhat limited, and we were getting close to having to change headlines. It’s a little like Spanish. I count really loud and strong, right up to about ocho, and then I start trailing off and mumbling. Major thanks to Brett for taking time to update us while on vacation. He did a great job. Enough stalling, here is Brett’s final report:

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I’m starting to think this won’t end well. I feel like I just invited a guy in a ski mask to escort me to the ATM, or Tom Brady to tag along on my honeymoon. You know how this turns out. Later I’m probably going to be sobbing and wondering why I didn’t see it coming.

Brett Frank, our Fresno State tennis correspondent in Hawaii, is now reporting on food. And TV shows. He’s whiplashing from one subject to another. He’s using asterisks to insert useless information. In short, he’s stealing my act.

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