About the author

My name is Matt. This is my web site. For a decade or so, I wrote 700-word columns that were printed in “newspapers.” You see kids, in the olden days news was delivered on ink-covered bundles of paper that a sleepy, annoyed teenager would fling at your house. I know it sounds crazy but it happened. Ask any elderly person. Some readers thought those columns were good. Some thought I would be more useful in laboratory research. I know because they told me in emails. And sometimes loudly in public. Somehow, I was twice named one of the best columnists in America by the Associated Press Sports Editors and another time by the Society of Newspaper Columnists. I didn’t ask any questions. I wrote for newspapers in Fresno, Calif., the Chicago suburbs and the greater metropolitan areas of Selma, Ala., and La Crosse, Wis. I have unpaid parking tickets to confirm all of this.

The first half of my life was spent growing up on a farm in southwest Kansas, a 45-minute bus ride from a school where I was teased mightily for playing the clarinet and being 4 feet tall. OK, technically, I was not born on the farm. Kansas has had hospitals since at least the mid-’70s.

Matt is 22 years old, assuming you’re reading this in 1999. He has a younger brother, Tony, who in an unspeakably courageous and selfless move, agreed to get married this year. This has taken significant heat off Matt. A niece or nephew would also help tremendously. No pressure, but it would certainly make up for the time Matt went outside to tell Tony it was time for lunch, and Tony “accidentally” ran over a baseball with a John Deere riding lawnmower and it shot out at 935 miles per hour and hit Matt in the forehead. There was crying.

The James brothers have a mother and father who are beyond supportive of every mistake their boys make, and have contractually committed their support for another five years, with an option for a one-year extension. The boys are forever grateful.

In the interest of losing weight and having stuff to write about, Matt has started and finished seven marathons in seven cities – Rochester, Minn., Duluth, Minn., Des Moines, Iowa, Chicago, Ill., San Francisco, San Diego and Fresno. He will never run one again, although he’s said that seven times before. A lot of people think he should try to qualify for the Boston Marathon. He is no longer friends with those people.

This website was created for nothing less than becoming the most popular web site in the history of the internet … written by a current member of the Fresno Bee … who played baseball at Hugoton High School. It might have a chance. Seriously, though, it was created so Matt would have a place to write about topics other than sports. Also, to promote books that, as of yet, have not been written. Matt is working on it. Frankly, no one is sure what this site is supposed to be. It will start with a blog and a few links to some of his previous work, and we’ll see what happens from there. The people who make web sites selfishly charge money for that sort of thing, so we’ll have to make improvements and pay as we go.

All donations can be wired to Matt’s bank account in the Caymans.

Matt as a youngster, looking for the weightroom. Or possibly some bacon.