I met Ty Murray a few years ago at a Professional Bull Riders event. He was as rigid in person as he was on “Dancing With the Stars,” and certainly smiled a lot less. He could say I wasn’t all that charasmatic either, but I’ve always lived by the rule that it’s the burdon of the most interesting person in the room to be the most interesting person in the room. It was actually an NBC TV booth inside an arena, so I guess we were in a couple different rooms, and it was obvious he wanted to be the most ignored person in both.

Murray was eliminated from “Stars” last night, leaving three contestants, gymnast Shawn Johnson, Melissa Rycroft* (the former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader who was engaged and then dumped on “The Bachelor”) and actor/model Gilles  Marini. I’m still not entirely sure whether Gilles is the man or woman in his dance partnership. Either way, really good at dancing.

*From this point on, I’m referring to people who have no real reason for being famous as A.A. (Aspiring Actors) or maybe D.S.A. (Desperately Seeking Attention). Hmm, I’ll have to work on that.

The continued survival of Murray on the show was a bit of America’s running joke, I think, like keeping Donald Trump on a reality show called, “Constructively Working Out Our Differences of Opinion.” That’s part of the charm of the show, of course, watching bad dancers dance badly, or watching bad dancers really improve. The truly entertaining part, though, was that the stiffness of Ty Murray didn’t confine itself to the dance floor. He’s just not that personable, at least in public, his face looking a little Botox-ed when he smiles, his grip on his partner’s shoulder reminding you of an awkward 8th-grade encounter at the movie theater.

His partner Chelsie Hightower’s strategy seemed to be, “Let’s put you in as many sparkly, farmer’s-tan-revealing, sleeveless shirts as possible, and have you do as many ridiculous butt-shaking moves as we can fit in every week.” And they rode it as far as it would take them.

Part of me thinks that after three weeks, Murray was rooting against himself. (”Um, yeah, Sis, this is Ty. How are ya? So ya know I’ve been doing that dancin’ show on ABC. Well, I was just sorta hopin’, maybe this week, ya know, if it’s not too much trouble, you could kind of stop votin’ for me. Oh, and tell everyone you know.”) I kind of felt bad for the guy. When they announced he was leaving, I almost expected a heel click and a cowboy hat to get thrown. Instead he said some pretty funny stuff: “Trying to teach me to dance is like trying to teach a blind man to paint. I don’t understand what makes it look better. I can see I’m not doing as well as the other people, but I don’t really know how to make it better. I just try to remember the steps.”

You think Jewel helped him with that blind man/painting line? Maybe Ty is one of the 28 people who read her book of poetry and felt inspired.

Sorry, didn’t mean to turn this into roast. I’ve heard a few of the bull riders on the circuit say Murray is anything but friendly at times, a hard-nosed businessman, but he came across as pretty likable on the show. It’s interesting, you could put a bull rider in an astronaut suit and 10 seconds into a conversation you’d know he was a bull rider. Almost all of them have that shy way about them. They don’t need or usually want attention. They all smile with the corners of their mouth as if they know something you should know.

People love an underdog, and maybe Murray’s problem is he got a little too average at dancing. If he falls on his partner and chewing tobacco leaks out of his mouth onto her dress during Monday’s show, no way he gets voted off Tuesday. People would have loved it, and Melissa would have been treated to her second on-air heartbreak of 2009. Speaking of Melissa, I wish Shawn Johnson wasn’t so young and nice, partly because it’s a little odd to be watching a 17-year-old dance so romantically with her older partner (I know, I know, he’s on 22), and partly because I’m now almost positive Melissa will not come to blows with anyone on set. Melissa was a tinderbox coming into this show. That was my theory. Weeks I’ve spent waiting for her meltdown. Sigh.

All that said, we bid goodbye to the lone Waltzer, the quick-roping quick-stepper, the last man standing — unless Gilles turns out to be a dude – Mr. Ty Murray.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 13th, 2009 at 2:35 pm and is filed under Pop Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.