Frank’s Island tennis report, Part II

I’m always confused about standard time versus daylight savings time, but especially when it concerns Hawaii. The state of Hawaii, and pretty much the entire Hawaii-Aleutian Time Zone, ignores daylight savings time altogether. Doesn’t even recognize it. If Hawaii and daily savings time got on an elevator together, it would be awkward. Historically, it’s thought to be because of a long-standing Island guideline that, roughly-translated, states: “What do we care what time it is? We’re in Hawaii!”

But seriously, Hawaiian standard time is based on – as well all know – the mean solar time of the 150th meridian west of the Greenwich Observatory. As you can see, I’ve gotten really good at copying and pasting. If I had to guess, I’d say the problem is offshore ripples in the space time continuum. Frankly, I think this is what happened to Amelia Earhart. Whatever the reason, there is no daylight savings time in Hawaii, so during the winter, it’s two hours earlier in Hawaii than in California. And from March to November, it’s three hours earlier. 

To clarify, it’s now 3:14 p.m. in Fresno and 12:14 p.m. in Honolulu, where the WAC Tennis Tournament was supposed to begin this morning. To explain what’s going on, here’s our second installment from action reporter Brett Frank, who so far has been worth every penny this blog is paying him …

Aloha!

So maybe the karma gods were paying attention to my smugness as I typed away last night.  With a combination smirk and smile, I patted at my keyboard basking in the thought of all those jealous people who may be reading my entries.  A touch of jet-lag set in (my arrival in Hawaii accounted for 12,726 airline miles since April 3rd) and after a quiet evening (notice “quiet” as opposed to “quite” which would have an entire other meaning), I rested my head on my pillow and prepared for a full day of fun and sun.   

BAM!!! (or any other Batman TV series word you would like to insert . . . i.e. Smack! Pow! Zikes!*, etc.)

The day of fun and sun has been delayed.  Rainfall has taken over the island and left this guy about as anxious to get out of the cage as a bull at the Clovis Rodeo.  By the way, we Okies put the emphasis on the first “o,” something that I haven’t quite become accustomed to in California dialect. 

As the first match has been delayed, I’m now forced to wait until early match play gets started to report on the tennis action.  Fresno State will play the winner of the opening match-up featuring San Jose State and Louisiana Tech.  In the meantime, I’m planning a trip to Puka Dog.  It’s an out of the way hole in the wall joint that will knock your socks off!  Be sure and read my future updates as I feel this eating establishment merits its own entry.  I hate to leave any of the intricacies out, so I will conduct hands-on research and post a detailed report later. 

Ciao for now,

B Frank 

If I’m not mistaken, B. Frank went a little Italian on us there. He’s versatile. What can I say, the blog only hires the best. And I, for one, am far more excited about a hands-on report from a restaurant known as the “Puka Dog” than I am about tennis. Until then, it’s all rain, all the time. Isn’t that always the way? Plan a Hawaii trip and it pours the entire time and then that’s all you can talk about for the next six weeks after you get back, until your friends finally clench their fists and mutter, “Hey, scumbag. Talk about how dreadful Hawaii was one more time and see what happens.”

*I’m not exactly sure how to enter asterisks into Brett’s reports because it could be confusing, but I’m going to do it anyway. From here on out, all asterisks are going to be footnotes to my comments. My favorite one-word exclamation from a TV show will always be “Zoinks!” That’s of course what Shaggy used to say all the time on “Scooby-Doo,” right before he ran from a ghost or monster or baby mama. Just kidding about that last one. (Added bonus information: Shaggy’s full name was Norville Rogers.) No one’s claiming to be Vin Scully here, but we’re doing what the great ones have always done, filling a rain delay with extra tidbits.

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